Fear giving and receiving Feedback? You may misunderstood its core meaning.
Are the thoughts of giving feedback to team members or receiving feedback from your boss make you feel uneasy, frustrated, or even terrified?
If you do – you are not alone. Feedback is something we hear or talk about so often, yet so many managers don’t even have a clear definition, not to mention a good playbook they can stick to.
The good news is: some simple clarifications and instructions can make a night-and-day difference in your experience of giving and receiving feedback. It can be a huge pain or a joy. Take a lot of time or just mere seconds. Damage the relationship or strengthen it. Demotivate others or bring them up.
Feedback is NOT praise or criticism
Let’s play a tiny game. Can you look at these 3 definitions and find the key difference between Feedback versus other things people confused with feedback?
Praise: approval or admiration for someone or something.
Criticism: disapproval of someone or something based on perceived faults or mistakes.
Feedback: information about reactions (…) which is used as a basis for improvement.
Found the key difference? Yes, it is in the intention. Feedback is information as a basis for improvement.
Another game, look at these 3 examples, which one is true Feedback?
“Your presentation is a waste of time. It’s the most boring talk I’ve ever listened to.”
“When your slides have all the words written down, the audience tends to read the text quickly and not listen to you. Would you try putting only a few keywords on the slide and delivering the details and nuance via your speech?”
“Wow, I love your presentation!”
If your answer is 2 – you are absolutely correct. For both (1) and (3), well-intention or not, positive or negative, they do not help the person to improve. Hence, they are not true feedback.
You give feedback to help other people improve. Not to express your frustration. Not to blame. Not to flatter. Not to approve or disapprove. Therefore, each feedback is a gift. An Improvement Pill.
The world – and certainly all organizations – will be a better place if people are giving and receiving the gift of feedback more.
Effective feedback encourages effective future behaviors
Focus on behaviors, not emotions or intentions.
Focus on the future, not dwelling in or arguing about the past.
And that is for the foundation. Coming next: a specific playbook on giving Effective Feedback.
